Keep calm and enjoy the smell

Tue, 14 Dec 2010 18:19:50 +0100

In the morning I have to park my car on Kaka Alley but the city of San Diego calls it Commercial Avenue. There are no other spots to park. The designated parking lots are full and I refuse to park in the underground garage. All the spots are labeled -compact- and the first week that I started to work here, tried to squeeze my gigantic Buick into one of those spaces and got it stuck on a mint green pole. Now I have mint green flames off of the wheel well. Sweet. I park on the street which is actually fine because now I don't have to wait for people to figure out how to use their badges so they can get out of the garage.

So when I pull over to parallel park, I turn down my music because I don't want to wake up my "neighbors." By the looks of things they must have a hard night. I get out, hold my nose, step over the sleepers, broken bottles and skip across the tracks to the shelter.

I noticed that there was a lot of cop action this foggy morning. They were parked across the middle of the street which usually means that somebody got hurt. I noticed that our "neighbors" were abuzz, which is usually not the case for 7:30 in the morning. Folks are usually groggy and standing about chain smoking. This morning was different and as I walked through the courtyard I heard why. I guess a homeless man was cruising around brandishing a knife. People had seen him walking around for a couple of hours. Story goes, a guy in a white suburban pulls up, jumps out, grabs the bum's knife and stabs him with it and takes off. The homeless man was left in the street bleeding but I guess police weren't too far behind.

So that should have been my first flag, that the day was going to be - um - different.

I got into the clinic and everybody showed up for work. I didn't have to fill in for anyone and I spent a large portion of it actually in my office. I share my office with two other mates sitting about 12 inches away of them. I hear their cell phone dramas about kids, EBT cards, "husbands" trading muscle relaxers for Kat William's DVD Sets, latest food at the swap meet, etc. (I should really start a blog about all of the topics that come up in these overheard conversations.) By the end it's a fight for crazy, my coworkers vs. our "clients." I think my coworkers might win this one.

I've come to the realization that people only like working here because they like the "clients" and a few of their peers. Yesterday was the last day for a woman who had worked here for 8 years. She was laid off and she came into my office to say her last teary goodbye. After I hugged her and said I'm sorry she moved on to my coworker. Expecting a hug and some kind words, my coworker tells the woman- " Hey, I have dibs on your chair."

I mean the woman being laid off was a bit of a nut. Everytime you would have a conversation with her she couldn't possibly look you in the eyes. Instead she looked to the ceiling and nervously fluttered her eyelids. My son does the same thing when he's trying to make a scary face. But she wasn't trying to be funny. It was just what she did. I don't know how you would ever figure out that that was your soothing mechanism Did you have something in your eye one day and while trying to get it out decide that that was like mummy holding you one last time? I digress........

The longest day was finally up but not without a bang, literally. A man came in at about 4:10 pm complaining of shortness of breath. The nurse turned him away becuase she was busy staring at a computer and on his way out he passed out in the lobby. This giant guy didn't fall backwards like most people, he fell forwards and punched a 14 in. in diameter hole in the wall with his HEAD. He was being buckled onto the gourney while I was on my way to leave.

I left the clinic, down the courtyard and walked down Commercia to my car. Everyday I am greeted by the tiniest old Mexican man. I kinda look forward to it. He has the most gracious smile and I like that the embroidered Dodgers logo on his hat is misspelled. Anyways I see my guy, we exchange hellos and he turns on his heel.

He looks across the tracks and starts shaking his fist and yelling at this tall man across the street. "Hey - leave her alone!" This black older man is leaning on some chick and then they both fall to the ground. She's not struggling or yelling. He sits on top of her. At this point I'm assuming this is a match of Crack-grappling. The guy gets her backpack, pops up and then with bag in hand, walks off (ok not really- does this crazy pimp stride) with a huge grin. Next I see this small black man walking down the street as if he was attached to one of the spinning teacups at Disneyland. He loop de loops a few times in front of the lady, I guess to make sure she's ok, and then twirls off. I can't make this shit up.

The little old mexican man looks at me, shakes his head, and then starts walking toward the ballfield. I hope he's going to the game. Maybe he'll get to see the Dogers play.
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